While some pain and suffering in life are unavoidable and part of the human experience, much is self induced by our thoughts and can be radically reduced by mindfulness practices and mental health tools. Learning to alter my thoughts has drastically improved my life. The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity – even under the most difficult circumstances to add a deeper meaning to his life. Victor Frankl, a neurologist, psychiatrist, holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, wrote:
Unless you’re eating ice cream, you’re suffering,” he commented. “I don’t mind suffering. You suffer in all things - work, relationships, whatever else you do. Such challenges made him a stronger person and better performer he said.
On one particularly soul-crushing occasion, people at a New York disco went right on dancing through his act as though he weren’t even on stage. In an article interviewing comedian Jerry Seinfeld, he recalls being heckled and ignored as a struggling comedian in his early days. However, surprisingly, those with the highest aptitude for psychological adjustment demonstrated the least signs of positive change perhaps because they already understood that difficulty is integral to life, were already adaptable, and not that transformed by the experience. As expected, it was found that people with a moderate aptitude for psychological adjustment were the most likely to show signs of PTG while those with difficulty adapting exhibited less. There’s no standard to determine what constitutes trauma or healthy growth but it has been determined why some people experience PTG and some don’t. In the years I spent recovering from a brain injury, the result of suicide attempt, I experienced every single one of these. PTG refers to any beneficial change resulting from a major life crisis or traumatic event, but people most commonly experience a positive shift by having a renewed appreciation for life adopting a new world view with new possibilities for themselves feeling more personal strength feeling more satisfied spiritually, and/or their relationships improve. Studies have shown that some trauma survivors report positive changes and enhanced personal development, called post traumatic growth (PTG). Actually, he said it much more eloquently: “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.” It turns out that he was right. That quote is attributed to the German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche.
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